That whole spill to say this..... I am really bad at being a friend. Growing up, I went through different friend groups pretty frequently, and for some reason the main group would be 3 of us and just take a guess who the "third wheel" always was..... yep. This post has nothing to do with feeling sorry for myself because even though my friendship circle wasn't big after high school, I never really had the time to pour into many friendships because I am a huge family girl. When I say family, J mean the whole clan: grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, etc. We got together at lease once or twice a week, mainly to eat food at someones house or for other random times for us all to just hangout. They were my best friends and I never really had to put any effort into making them hang out with me or like me. (shout out to fam).
It wasn't really until college that I truly and wholeheartedly realized how much of a blessing it was to be surrounded by my family. Moving 3 hours away to a place where I knew no one, meant I actually had to make an effort to meet people and hope that they liked me and would want to hangout and be......you guessed it, friends. Four years later and I feel like this is still one of the biggest struggles in life for me. I have meet plenty of people in classes, work, dorm life, and I mean I am in a social club, but I am terrible at actually putting forth effort and establishing a solid friendship with people, but there are a few people that I have crossed paths with that even with my lack of effort, they still see something in me that is worth sticking around.
You see, I have come to realize I have this weird type of "friendship language", and maybe some people can relate to this (or maybe I am actually just a terrible friend hah), but those I would consider my best friends really and truly understand this. Here are a few things about this "friendship language":
1. Communication: Not communicating is not a bad thing. Life gets busy and school+work+homework+life+EVERYTHING sometimes means you won't text back, or you probably won't talk/text for weeks/months at a time, but when life slows down and you get a minute to breathe and catch up, it's like no time went by since the last time because you just pick up where you left off and life is great and you remember exactly why that person sticks around.
2. Valued Time: I look around or get on social media and see friend groups that it seems like never leave each others side. This is not the case for this type of friendship. Individually we have our priorities so hanging out all the time isn't really something that happens very often, but when we all happen to be at the same place at the same time, that time is so valuable and not a minute is wasted because for once, we are not working or studying and we can just relax and enjoy each others company.
3. Purpose: This is the component that ties this type of friendship together. When you met these people, you knew immediately there was a reason God put them in your life. Even if you don't all live in the same place or maybe you do and you just don't get together much, there is just something about them that you value and memories made that you cherish. There is just so much that you have gained from this friendship that you never want to lose. This is what creates a purpose and the reason behind why this person, even though you don't talk or hangout often, still sticks around. To them, it's not about the effort you put into being a friend, it's about the quality of friendship that you provide at just the right time and in the moments that you are together.
I really don't give enough credit to the sweet and amazing friends that God has placed in my life. I catch myself sometimes wishing I had that friend group that I see on social media or that I had those go-to people to grab lunch with or watch a movie with at any hour of the day, but then when I really think about it, do I really have time to put forth the effort that that type of friendship requires? I wholeheartedly don't. For that, I am so thankful for friends that have taken the time to accept my "friendship language" and know that even though I suck at being a friend most of the time, I have a lot of love, encouragement, laughs, advice, and fun to give in the times that I don't suck.
xoxo,
Olivia, Liv, Liffy, Olive